The year 2020 for most of us will likely go down in history as the most challenging. However, there’s a wise saying “Focus on the Positive”. I couldn’t agree more with that saying as I’ve come to realize that the more you focus on the positive, the less the impact of the Negative.
As a mother of 5 children ranging from recent college graduate to elementary school student, being their supermom has always been my greatest source of joy and number one priority. So when the COVID-19 pandemic hit earlier this year, minimizing the impact (both physical and emotional) on my children became paramount. Ten months later, I can say that my children are just as happy today as they were before the lockdown. With the exception of course of missing out on a party here and there and in-person schooling. Which is not the worst thing in the world if you ask me.
Below are some of the things I have been doing to keep the good vibes flowing at home with the kids despite the craziness that this pandemic has wrought all around the world.
- Spiritual Grounding: As a family, we have always endeavored to raise religious children as part of our catholic faith but with the lockdown and not being able to attend weekly church in-person, we had to get creative. At first we tried watching the mass (aka church service) on television but noticed the kids would tune out easily and so after the second week, we began celebrating our own family masses. Each Sunday morning, we would gather the kids around the table and start with some praise and worship, followed by having each child partaking in a reading from that week’s sermon. Afterwards, each child and adult would individually share what the readings meant to them and how we they/we could apply it in our daily lives today to live a happier, more fulfilled life. Lastly, we would, each take turns in saying a prayer for ourselves and the world. This activity has been the most helpful because it enables each child to express how they are feeling, verbalize issues they are dealing with and connect their experiences to God’s counsel and solution to the situation. It has been very therapeutic and helped build the kids’ confidence while reducing their anxiety about the pandemic as they gained peace of mind believing everything will be just fine and knowing they are loved by their family and God.
- Relaxing the Rules: With social distancing not permitting the kids to socialize with their friends or attend in person school and sports, they developed new hobbies most of which have been from the digital world aka video games and telephone/social media. While normally, we would have very strict time limitations on when and how long they can be on their devices, we have had to bend the rules significantly and allow them to enjoy their gadgets much more often as it has appeared to give them some form of enjoyment and connection with their friends virtually. Their alternate “happy place” helped distract them from the bleakness of the pandemic.
- Grading on a Curve: Virtual schooling has quickly become the norm for most children this year but it isn’t without its downsides. Like most parents, we provide our kids with everything they need to succeed in virtual school yet it still presented challenges to the kids early on. As parents, juggling full time careers can make it challenging to monitor their classwork during business hours. The result was an occasional missed assignment, an incomplete or late project, and consequently some less than perfect grades. This year, we quickly learned to pivot and check in with each kid individually at the end of the school day (middle of work day), to ensure they are on track with turning in their assignments and preparing in advance for upcoming tests. This has helped the kids stay on track with their grades and succeed academically.
In addition to these, other things we’ve done is incorporate family fun activities like game nights on weekends, have more take-out dinners, and on special or rare occasions, allow them to safely socialize with a few friends in person to keep them well balanced socially.
My advice to queen mothers raising kids at home during this lockdown is to try and minimize the pandemic noise around you like the negative news updates. Find ways to give your kids a regular spiritual boost and encourage communication about how they are feeling. Lastly, ease up the rules from housekeeping and chores, to socializing and school. I’m not suggesting completely turning a blind eye to school just cut them some slack when there is an occasional slip up. Then get creative about how they can do better in the future. If ever there was a year to be flexible and focus more on the positive which is the love and support of family, 2020 is that year.
Signed,
A Queen