There must be thousands of quotes out there and advice on that tiny 4 letter word “fear” and how it has the ability to debilitate one when we allow it to overpower us. The truth is we all have fears but the extent of its impact on our lives depends largely on how we manage it. Here’s a little insight on how I’ve been able to subdue certain fears that were on the verge of stifling me.
Acknowledging It
The COVID-19 pandemic amplified my long standing fear of death. Ever since I was a child, I can’t remember what exactly initiated it (perhaps horror movies?) but anyway I’ve always had anxiety when it comes to death. This kept me from experiencing so much of the awesomeness and wonders of life from adventurous trips, to even trying new hobbies or procedures. However, as I’ve matured over the years and God’s grace has kept me alive and in good health, I’ve come to realize that nothing I’ve done or not done has substantively contributed to my being alive today. There are people who live recklessly but live to be 100 years old and then others who are extremely conservative but die young. So acknowledging that I have no true power over how long I live has helped me to accept that certain things are out of my control. Thus, I am best served living and enjoying my life to the fullest each day so as to live with no regrets. I also remind myself as my pastor would say that life isn’t promised but death is. Basically, no one can guarantee on their own strength, the creation or sustenance of life but death (sad but true) is a guarantee for all who live. So why not live out loud like they say and make each day count!
Analyzing It
The truth is most of what we fear is highly unlikely to happen so why stress about it. Whether it is catching a particular, rare disease or ending up old, broke and alone, most of the things we fear aren’t going to happen the way we perceive them. So how do we break the power of worrying about these things? Confront it like a scientist. I basically analyze anything I strongly fear and ask myself. “So what if it did happen?” Then I walk through the impacts, fall outs, etc. and then plan on how to best mitigate them. Example, if I feared being old broke and alone, I would consider what that would look like, how it may affect me and then I solve now for how to mitigate these negative impacts in the future. E.g. I would need to start investing more quality time into my good relationships and stop wasting time with futile ones. I would also focus more on saving money for my future so I will be financially secure. Knowing I have a strategy in place will then start to ease my “fears” and allow me to enjoy each day to the full!
They say the best ideas are in the grave today because of “fear”. And fear is certainly something we women deal with more than our male counterparts from taking risks in business to our love life. However, I believe that as we learn each day little by little to Recognize and Analyze our fears, we will ultimately Conquer them and live the best life we are called to live as powerful queens.
Signed,
A Queen