The wise phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child” was one I had to learn the meaning of the hard way. As a newly-wed and mother of a toddler boy, followed by a devastating miscarriage, the grieving process weighed heavily on me and everyday was a challenge. The situation was exacerbated by the doctor telling us we may never conceive again. However, a year later we were blessed when our daughter came into our lives. But, I was still grieving from the miscarriage and overwhelmed with the responsibilities of now being a mom of 2, wife and career woman. Juggling these various roles in addition to attempting to balance my emotional health was a challenge.
Coupled with now having to raise a daughter and lacking a strong emotional/mental support system, I felt completely alone. I reached out to friends, relatives and older women who had raised daughters for their advice and support in raising my daughter into an emotional and physically balanced young woman. While some offered advice, most were of little help. Many times I felt frustrated and discouraged but as I do when all hope is lost, I turned to God and made a covenant with Him that if He helped me successfully raise my daughter, I would pay it forward and help others going through similar situations one day.
Then came my “Ah Ha!” moment. I began noticing that when I gathered with women of my age who also had kids in the same age group, they would casually mention the challenges they were facing with their daughters. I then decided rather than lament on these challenges, why not be the solution? So I connected with 15 women – friends, co-workers, friends of friends, etc. I hosted an event and shared my vision of creating an organization where women with daughters can empower them to be successful, good citizens and leaders in their community. I wanted to give these young girls the necessary life skills and tools to maximize their God-given potentials. Fortunately, all 15 women jumped on board pouring out their experiences and little did we know we were all going through similar situations with our parenting.
While I had the apparent support of many women, I faced many trials along the way. From people not showing up to meetings or events, to disappointments from others whose expertise I needed to build the infrastructure of the organization. Others outright discouraged me and I quickly realized some of my “supporters” really didn’t believe in my vision and thought I would fail. However, I faced everything determined not to be derailed. My vision was too big for me to fail, so I reminded myself of my covenant with God and pressed on. First, I had to accept I was struggling with achieving my dream and needed help. Once I did this, I started reaching out to as many people as possible including absolute strangers for help and then the resources and expertise began to flow in!
Alas! After my personal grief and challenges adapting to a new horizon of motherhood, I remained steadfast, succeeded in my dreams and Moms & Me, Incorporated was born. I finally birthed an organization of women to help raise young girls by giving them a voice to support one another, use their talents to achieve greatness and truly be their sister’s keeper.
My advice for young queens out there is no matter what challenges you face in life, be willing to ask for help and share your story with others as you never know where help will come from. If you’re struggling, reach out to your local churches /organizations in your community for help with parenting or emotional support. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable as you never know who you will bless or who may bless you. Surround yourself with positive people and be careful whom you invite to your table. While you want to be careful who you keep in your inner circle, you should keep some of the naysayers in your rearview as they can be that motivation to keep you focused. Lastly, don’t regret any life challenges you face as they are intently there to build you and in the end God will take the glory.
Signed by,
A Queen