As far back as I can remember, I’ve always been afraid. Afraid of sleeping in the dark. Afraid of heights. Afraid of being alone. Afraid of failing. And the list goes on. While the other parts of my life seemed to be pretty much under control, somewhere deep inside, that fear hindered me from living life to my potential.
I stayed in relationships for fear of being alone. I only took certain jobs because I feared I may not perform well in them. I shied away from adventures and experiencing memorable moments for fear of travelling. And then after having children, I began fearing how they would cope if I were to suddenly be no more.
I never quite found a way or need to deal with this fear until one fateful day. I had taken a job and which I never really expected to travel. However, I was so attached to the job that I overlooked and pushed off the fact that a day could come where I had to travel. And that day finally arrived.
During the first trip, I had anxiety throughout the flight. By the second trip, I was still very anxious. However, before the third trip, I mentally prepared myself, by reminding myself that I had to keep this job because it took care of my children whom I loved more than anything on earth. And so I continued to psych myself up acknowledging several things. Firstly, I couldn’t do anything to avoid the trip or else I would lose my job and have no money to take care of my family. Secondly, I had no control over the plane, pilot or passengers and therefore there was no use worrying about it. And finally, I reminded myself that death is inevitable and the one thing that is certain but also that no one has control over. What I could do was control the things I could and live my life to the fullest by letting go of the things I couldn’t control.
And so weeks leading to the third trip, I spent extra time with my children. Was mindful of how I treated everyone I came in contact with. Made sure my life insurance was in good order. And then I boarded the plane.
I never felt such relief on a plane. I said a little prayer and relaxed for the entire flight. My heart and spirit felt like an eagle. Strong, Free and Soaring! Going on this trip was something I had to do for the ones I loved. And God forbid something bad happened and the plane went down, I had done my best and controlled what I could and my legacy would attest to it. What I learned in that moment was that I wanted to live the rest of my life with that beautiful feeling of an eagle. It was the most empowering and liberating experience and ever since that day, I have stopped fearing everything from darkness to heights to travelling and being alone.
My advice for women is to find an opportunity to face your fears. When you get to the bottom of what is causing your fear and find a logical way to put it at bay, you can freely live your life to the fullest. Accomplishing your dreams boldly, freely and soaring like an eagle.
Signed by,
A Queen.